Same Page...

    Ahhh today was a gorgeous day out...really the second day of Spring here in Minnesota...actually the day isn't even over with, as long as there is light out.  I love these days.  I love the smell of the open windows in my bedroom and bathroom.  Isn't that crazy.  I LOVE the smell of the open-ness of my house.  It may be getting chilly out as the sun is setting.  But this is spring in Minnesota...gotta enjoy it while its happening, tomorrow we could get rain or...even the 's' word. 
  I could feel the sun shining through my blinds this morning.  I smiled.  I said a quick 'Thank You' to God and got up to start my day, which really starts with Him and a cup of java. 
  Have you ever listened to what God chats back to you?  I mean really listened?  As you ramble (and I say that most lovingly), thru your prayers, your praise...do you hear him?  I heard him laugh this morning.  It was a good hearty chuckle.  Kind of startled me a bit and I looked around my little office to see if it was someone looking over my shoulder, or the tv or something.  I try to have it quiet...but with kids, a husband and a dog. Its hard. I wait until the house is cleared out, or they are pre occupied...because if I don't then I get the "mom..." or "honey"..or "whatcha doing".  I don't want to have to yell- "I AM HAVING MY QUIET TIME WITH GOD...LEAVE ME ALONE!",  that kind of breaks up the quiet, peaceful, happiness of the moment, you know? 
  So where was I? Oh yeah...the laugh.  I ramble when I talk to God.  I write sometimes.  Most of the time we just talk, or I should say I do and He listens.  I pray.  I praise.  And I ramble.  Today was more of the rambling.  A lot of the rambling.  I have been asking that He show me what He wants me to do in my life.  Where does He want me to go? Who does he want me to be?  And it was quiet.  Hmmm.  'So I am good right, God?'  That's where He laughed.  Probably because he knows my heart so well.  That comment I made..."So I am good right, God?" wasn't meaning..I am good, like a good person, good follower, good believer, good friend....it meant...between God and I...that we are good.  We are on the same page.  I am where I should be.  Doing what I should be doing.  His laugh was like an indication..."ummm, No. we are not on the same page, and you know it." Because He knows I know it.  Because He knows my heart so well, that I am scared to know HIS answers.  Where does this leave me?  Not on the same page-for now.    I am so coming out of this little tidy box I have kept myself in.  Although today, we are not on the same page.  I am closely coming to it.  I am changing and I am changing the world.  So not on the same page today, I get that.  But I know He loves me.  Love me.  Loves me.  It is just not me loving Him.  I can say that and I can beleive that.  That page..well my dears, that page is the same.